


When dave tries to have a casual conversation even when he is not dave and is not even trying to rp as himself that is not really him  Alternately titled I never shut the fuck up  Also titled I talk like this everyday

by eekZlee



Series: Group chat adventures with Dave and friends [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Words, casual conversation, ish, random shit, this has nothing to do with ships, this isnt even a fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 11:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2619305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eekZlee/pseuds/eekZlee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>me and my group were just talking abou tsome random shit and i just wanted to give an example of what random mentally jaaring insanity i spew out from my mind unto the screen everyday when we converse<br/>if people listened to me in real life as much as the people on the other side of the screen my mouth would have so much to fucking say you have no clue</p>
            </blockquote>





	When dave tries to have a casual conversation even when he is not dave and is not even trying to rp as himself that is not really him  Alternately titled I never shut the fuck up  Also titled I talk like this everyday

KARKAT : Someone in my grade got preggers .-.

JADE: wHAT

JADE: details this is concerning

DAVE: we need info now plz

DAVE: arent you like in 8th grade at most

KARKAT: Yus

DAVE: how the fuck does a 14 year old girl just go woops sorry mum but me and alex did the thing and i got preggers

KARKAT: XD

DAVE: whos alex

DAVE: oh remember that science project we did last week

DAVE: yeah we were supposed to make an atom but we accidentally made icecream in my oven if you catch my drift

DAVE: no mum im not a whore omg shut up youre soooo lame

DAVE: just because my hooch is getting more attention than yours doesnt mean ima be a stupid mommy like you

DAVE: cuz u a failure

DAVE: #mykidisgonnabecuterthanyours

DAVE: im just going to stop before i fill the chat with nothing but my own bullshit

DAVE: anyway the dets of the girl with the babs

JADE: Uh

DAVE: i know im disturbing

DAVE: this is the life of dave

DAVE: be glad i stopped cuz i was going to tell the tale of how she got pregnant by jownsie at the dance

JADE: No, please, go ahead. Entertain me.

DAVE: oh hell yes

DAVE: its january of 2015

DAVE: sarah is ready to go to the twerk ball

DAVE: shes been waiting to pop that ass for nine months

DAVE: she goes to the ball and she out twerks so many of the other bitches out the bitches are so amazed they are knocked into comas they were like dayum sarah u 14 and pregnant but dAT ASS DOE DAAAYUM

DAVE: but then the new girl titty Dickerson is in the finals against her

DAVE: and tittys twerks were so fuckin amazing people DIED OF ORGASMS

DAVE: they twerked intensely for 3 hours even after the dance was over they kept at it

DAVE: alex and all the guys sarah fucked stood there screaming for her to stop as their dicks exploded from tittys twerks

DAVE: and then suddenly

DAVE: sarah felt the shame of a thousand kohais touching their senpis bootay

KARKAT: XD WHYYYYY

DAVE: her baby she had made 9 months ago with alex and jownsie crawled out her hoochie

DAVE: he danced out of her beaver

DAVE: he slithered out her den

DAVE: he popped out her oven

DAVE: he wiggled out her womb

DAVE: and he started to throw the sickest moves

DAVE: he

DAVE: the Christ child he must have been

KARKAT: Oh my gog someone quote this please

DAVE: he started todo the doughie better than anyone else in the world

DAVE: the song arose from the holy hell below

DAVE: because cmon lets be honest jesus would have been totes jelly and snitched to daddy that twin susej was poppin moves better than him and just pure sin

DAVE: jesus is cool and shit but dAMN sesuj was doggieing so fucking pro you have no idea

DAVE: and that children

DAVE: is how the doughie went back into style

VRISKA: STFU DAVID

DAVE: dude im already done cant you tell by my closing there

DAVE: fuck way to kill it

DAVE: it was going to be so beautiful vriska oh my gog

DAVE: the tears of my golden god would rain down upon us and shine the wicked lights upon my words as the sick beat sung gloriously

VRISKA: DAVID STFU PLZ U TIME FUCKASS

**Author's Note:**

> ayyyy this is my first post fuck yeeeeah  
> starting this shit out with a most likely long series of me and my groups conversations that are rather interesting  
> all of our conversations are interesting but sometimes we spew the right things out of our braincells and shit gets crazy intense  
> in this case though  
> i was the main pipeline of strangeness yet interest of the converse between the 4 current participants  
> i will most definitely post more random bullshit like this so if you like to be confused as fuck welcome to the party this is the place for you  
> kick back and we can massage your feet as you examine are strange ways of life  
> thank you


End file.
